April 18, 2006

Why I Don’t Write Good

By Susan K. Morrow, Professional Grammar Coach

Why indeed don’t you write good—er, well? Most of us are sufficiently adept with English when it comes to writing reports, business correspondence, e-mails, and other necessary evils. However, some little problems tend to stick with people, even really smart and smug people like me!

Where do you have problems with writing at the office? In my many years working in the corporate world, mostly in property and facilities management, I was required not only to write correspondence and inter-office memos (remember memos?), but to complete monthly financial reports, annual budget narratives, and even newsletters. That’s right, if you have ever lived in an apartment community and you received a newsletter that looked like it came from the manager’s office—I probably wrote it!

Obviously, I am a professional writer and I have a God-given knack for language, but I recognize that I am in the minority. Being left-handed and both-brained, I can understand why many people have trouble with English. Some of it doesn’t seem to make sense, right? Say these similarly-spelled words aloud and scratch your head: tough, cough, through. Huh?

Okay, so we live in a weird-language world and we have to deal with it. The trick is to find a way to remember the ones you have trouble with. Mnemonics are a great way to remember. When I was in 8th grade, my teacher came up with this little ditty to help me remember 8 x 8 = 64: “I ate and I ate and I got sick four times.” I have never forgotten it.

It also helps to understand why something is a problem. For example, lots of people say “just between you and I,” instead of the correct version, “just between you and me.” Why? Probably because your mom said, “Don’t say ‘me and Jamie are going to the movies.’ It’s ‘Jamie and I.’” Mom was right, of course, but the rule is different when you and Jamie are objects.

If it helps, think of saying only one of the objects: "The lady took a picture of him." "The lady took a picture of me." That sounds right, doesn’t it? Therefore, it is also correct to say, "The lady took a picture of him and me." You may have to practice this one if you are used to using subjects.

Moving on. Let’s look at some of the bugaboos that people trip over most often:

Apostrophes: Well, this is certainly a tricky area. As an editor, I see more problems with apostrophes than with other punctuation, verb tenses, or objects and subjects.

First, you have to hammer it into your head about your and you’re. You already know that one of the apostrophe’s jobs is to replace missing letters in a contraction. When in doubt “un-contract” it:

You’re = you + are
Your = your (possessive)

This one always needs to be double-checked in business writing. It’s so easy to miss!

“Un-contracting” works well for the possessive “its” too:

It’s = it + is
Its = its (possessive)

The other job of the apostrophe is to show possession: “Possessive” simply means that someone or something owns or has something or someone. Examples:

Janie’s boyfriend
Bubba’s world
The world’s poor

If the possessive noun is plural with an “s” on the end, the apostrophe goes after the “s”:

The girls’ room
The four boys’ attitude

Plural nouns without an “s” get the usual treatment:

Women’s liberation
Children’s library
Men’s room

Always remember and never forget: Apostrophes are not used for plural words! These are DON’Ts:

There are too many dog’s in here!
I like orange cat’s better than any other’s.
Those squirrels’ sure can get up that tree.
Please spare me the lesson on prepositions’.

Speaking of prepositions, I am often asked about ending sentences, especially questions, with prepositions. (Prepositions are those “wee words,” such as on, over, by, through, with, etc.) We have been taught by our well-intentioned English teachers that it is never acceptable to end a sentence with a preposition.

Well, here's the deal about prepositions: It is acceptable to use them at the end of the sentence if it is less awkward that way. Winston Churchill was quoted thus, "That is the type of language up with which I will not put." You can see what I mean about awkward.

I am often asked about “at” specifically. I find that, usually, the "at" can simply be dropped. For example, "This is where I am at" becomes, "This is where I am." I hear this problem more often in question form: "Where are you at?" Drop the "at" and just say, "Where are you?"

Spelling, proofreading, and editing: Not everybody can be a stellar speller. We all have our gifts and some are blessed with great spelling abilities, while others are blessed with fantastic ice-skating abilities and other beautiful talents.

So what’s a not-so-stellar speller to do? Spell Checker is a wonderful thing, to be sure! However, it is not fool-proof. Will it catch “you’re” instead of “your”? Sometimes, it will give you a little green line, showing that something is amiss.

What about “a miss” versus “amiss”? I almost misspelled that one just now! A good trick to catching misspelled words is to proofread from the end to the beginning. That way, you are looking at individual words, rather than skimming through sentences.

Here’s good news: Most good dictionaries—and no desk should be without one!—feature grammar and editing information, rules, and advice. Check it out and see if you don’t find more help there than you expected. And don’t forget the internet, where you will definitely find more than you could possibly want!

For really important documents, articles, reports, and marketing materials, hire a professional editor or proofreader. It’s worth the money.

Well, I may be biased, but it doesn’t mean I’m wrong!

Susan K. Morrow is a trainer, editor, and writer, who owns Words Are We and Workshops Are We. She is a frequent presenter in seminars with the State Bar of Texas, as well as numerous venues throughout the state. Contact: SMorrow@WordsAreWe.com
www.WordsAreWe.com
www.WorkshopsAreWe.com

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